So I spent the night in the Basilica I don't know why I probably shouldn't be their after all the things I have done since I left Praetoria. I still find it soothing and its a place where I can keep up with my old friends... well the ones that wish to keep in contact with me anyway. Others like poor Mitara;

"Why!?
You had a promising career infront of you!
and you threw it away for what cheep thrills?"

I believe the Captain sees my resignation as a direct betrayal of the her. She always did hold me in high regard maybe a little too high. After her words she spit at my feet and stormed out of the Basilica not really giving me a chance to speak too much.

I spent the rest of the evening speaking with Jhaelee and Darius who we're both concerned with how Shalee is taking everything... I'll need to speak with her. The last thing she needs to do is something that will get her into trouble I heard she had already visited someplace of ill-refute is the word PIE would use.

Tonight I'll see if I can sneak to Inis, and message Shalee.

activate log

The recording show Zenton sitting in a chair facing the recording drone. The room is dark not giving any clues as to where he is.

So Piracy, I used to be against it down to my very core. I don't know what provoked me to do it but I engaged in it the other day, I destroyed a Omen. The person I was flying with grabbed his pod and destroyed it as well. I enjoyed the fight, the kill everything about it. Is this only the start of something I cannot control? God help me I hope not.

I really only have one person to turn to, Shalee but I've made her pretty upset understandably with my confession of it to her. She's really the only one that has a chance of understanding shes been through so much I'm sure if anyone can help it will be her. But I'm conflicted about laying any burdon on her. She doesn't deserve it she's been through too much as it is.

looking away for a moment before continuing.

I asked Larzah to assist Captain Newelle with a TLF pilot, he assured me he would but I've not heard anything back about it from him. I suppose I will ask the Captain tonight what happened if I do not hear from him.

end log.

Its been far to long since I've wrote anything here. Just haven't been able to find the time between being in pod and planet side duties.

So whats happened... Well I've started to be lax in my Militia duties thus far I don't think anyone's noticed to much. Nothing seems to chance if I help out as much as I did or not. I find my time more enjoyable spending it scouring the other side of Wormholes for sleepers or just general exploring thanks to my friend Larzah who's been providing me with locations of sites to explore.

Spent the night with Shalee on Inis, apparently she told Garst everything the other night in the Basilica, and he hit her! Luckily for him she told me far enough away that I couldn't just outright find him... Though she made me swear not to be mad, I don't think that worked I am still upset over it.

Beaux, hes still considering turning to the darker side of New-Eden once he trains for his recon, I think he wishes me to join him... I'll admit I did some stealing in a wormhole the other day. It did get the blood pumping, god forgive me I think I may have even enjoyed it. I need to think... pray.

the journal entry ends abruptly

The anniversary it was today... I can't believe its been a year since the elder fleet. Seems like so much less time has passed, but I guess the days just sort of meld together on the front a constant mix of tactical and strategic superiority.

Well I participated in the Golden Fleet which went into Rens, our intelligence might have been a little off with as to how powerful the enemy non-capsuleer navy vessels are but never the less we delivered our speeches, our messages of god to the heathan system.

Rodj blake spoke first, then Admiral Grr, both speeches were heard over all the local frequences. I hope the words of a couple of our finest leaders will sink in amongst even just a few of them and our mission will not have been in vain. Every soul redeemed is two fold, another ally, and one less enemy.

Shalee came to Paradise, we talked for a littlewhile I passed on Captain Newelle's appology. The Captain she seems so stretched maybe the war is finally getting to her I don't know. I don't really want to think about it at all. After a littlewhile Lieutenant Garst came by he called Shalee over and talked about something I wasn't trying to pay too much attention figure Shalee will tell me if she feels I need to know. After they finished they called me over and we enjoyed a bottle of wine, with one of the newer ensigns in Praetoria, Jhaelee. Sort of odd... but she seems harmless enough.

Terminate log.

Paradise... why did I go to paradise this morning. It was quiet but that all changed Laerise came in, still nothing wrong with that we had a little bit of pleasant conversation, or at least it started pleasant enough I don't think I've had to fight harder to let her know what I thought of what she was saying.

"There is love .. and there is marriage, they do not have to be the same."

What? how can she say that.. honestly love should be the building block that paves the road to marriage not someone who just does it because it would be what helps

"I know of more than one happy arranged marriage."

Arranged marriage how can they be happy... for every one happy one there must be half a dozen if not more that at least one of the people are completely miserable. I don't even understand. how Laerise could begin to talk about this especially since her and Chase are in love. She cant even see the other side of it.

"And unlike Mitara I'm not going to suggest a marriage unless it is beneficial to your houses. There is love .. and there is marriage, they do not have to be the same."
"love and marriage do not have to correlate."

I was so frustrated by this point, I would never be in an arranged marriage, god knows my mother has tried several times. I would have sooner married a plank of wood then the 'women' if you can call the robots she choose that. Also as if we would even need her to 'suggest' that we should married if we choose too... if and when I marry it will be for love, out of love even, it will not be because "someones of a suitable background". I have made my mind up on that.

Anyway... enough ranting and raving about that. After all this 3rd shift got a little interesting I started a fleet operation with pilots from the Order of Silence again, Was Shalee, Larzah, Lyradex, and Ves, and myself. We didn't find much sadly but we did manage to jump a bellicose on a gate and took it down pretty quick. Other then that we closed a few plex's and stood down for the evening. Hopefully tomorrow will bring us more action I really wish to continue to practicing my fleet commanding, as Laerise said before we got onto the topic of marriage. "Every fleet commander is worth their weight in gold." lets hope so.



Terminate log.

Well, today comes with a pleasant surprise I woke to a message from Praetoria command. Generally I assume these are the days flight plans or requests for me to do something but this one was informing me that I had been selected for promotion to the rank of Lieutenant Junior Grade. There were a lot of names on the list of promotions. Garst, Omnicide, Mitara, Laerise, Veshta. Just to name a few. All competent and devoted pilots before the empire.

Another day in the war my wallets slowly starting to feel the pinch I'll need to pull out for a few days while I build up funds again I fear. Oh well thats ok, I could probably do for a break anyway. Especially with Shalee seemingly having to take a hiatus of her own personal reasons. Will be good to catch up with some of my friends from CVA space while I make some money hunting the Sansha pirates for concord.

log terminated

Well! now the Gallente are putting there ugly faces where they don't belong, coming into Amarr of all places the blasphemy... slandering Empress Jamyl's name. Its a good thing the Caldari have already defeated them in the front.

So what happens now on the Caladri front? only time will tell I guess. Our wars still stuck in its seemingly ever lasting stalemate...

Shalee came to paradise last night looking lovely as she always seems to. We talked for a little while with Lt.Jg Omnicide, then Lt.Jg Garst came in displaying his new found wealth. Oh well good for him I guess.

I had to slip out early something came up hopefully Shalee will understand as I'm sure I'll be hearing about it today.